Trapped in a Circle

You wake up to the sound of rain. It’s 5 am and you negotiated that just 5 minutes more shouldn’t be that bad.

You have barely closed your eyes when your alarm goes off again. Hay! Iba talaga oras sa umaga!

Cursing, you stood up and started your way towards the bathroom.

The water is cold. You jumped when it touched your skin. The breakfast is a bang-up job of something you could easily create.

5:30 AM. You were beginning to rush.

Umuulan,
matraffic,
mahaba ang pila.

After lining up behind atleast 20 people, praying you don’t get to work late, you settled down your seat, squeezed between two other tired commuters.

Just another day, another week, another year.


 

I realized this was not the life I wanted the FIRST day of my job. In my field, we had no space or time to pretend to be the dream. They didn’t care if you didn’t like the reality– no one pretended to be happy for the “poor” new-hired employees. Just about everyone made sure we saw how miserable they were.

I started looking for a way out immediately.
It took a while to find it– 2 years after that was when I started trading.

And I worked for 5 years before I got out.

 


 

The corporate world has this crazy cycle. I’m not sure what it’s called but I’m sure everyone knows it.

It has ups and downs that keep you in it.
You’re unhappy enough to long to leave but happy enough to stay.

Today, your boss walked in the room with a bad mood and you were the first he saw. Your hair was a little dishevelled, na-late ka ng konti kaninang umaga, mainit ang ulo nya.

Sinigawan ka nya, and he started power tripping.

By lunch time, you browsed LinkedIn for job openings on your phone’s browser.

The next day though, absent sya, and there was not much work. Himala! You joked with your co-workers. May nanglibre ng pancit. Merong may birthday. You realize… Hey, ok naman.

Next week, it was crazy, the workload just rained. You couldn’t even leave the office on time. Some even decided to sleep there just to get this time-sensitive critical work done.

“Resign na!”, you told yourself.

But a week after that, sweldo na.

You bought yourself that new shoes you always wanted (Limited edition), and you even had some Haagen Dazs ice cream.

Life’s good.

Before you know it, it’s been 8 years.

 


 

I remember back then, when I was still working, there are people who would get a loan “para ma-motivate” and “hindi mag-resign”.

They forced themselves to like the prison they’re in and have even written the extension of their serving time.

But whenever you ask them, “Masaya ka ba?”
The answer is returned with a whisper and the look of embarrassed introspection.


If you’re working at a job that you really like, then this may not apply to you.

But if this is not where you want to be,
You are a wolf trapped in a rat race.

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Let me remind you,
Remember who you are.

 


Forever yours,
Celeste

For your rainy and traffic commute nights ♥

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5 thoughts on “Trapped in a Circle

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  1. I am glad you are not pushing trading as a way ‘out’. It’s weird that some ‘traders’ are really trying to shove the idea of investing and trading as a way out for everybody when clearly it’s not. Some people seem to really love working in the Corporate world and love what they do despite the day to day struggle of traffic, office politics, and the low compensation.

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  2. “Resign na!”, you told yourself. But a week after that, sweldo na. Before you know it, it’s been 8 years.”

    Tagos sa pagkatao ang post nyo today. 11 years na din pala akong OFW. Dumaan lang panahon. 🙂

    Like

  3. Hi Ms. Celeste,

    “Trapped in a Circle” was the first article I read from you. Accidentally lang na nabasa ko on some random Trading groups sa FB. I didn’t know you yet. Pero iba ung impact na binigay saken ng post mo.

    I’ve been working as OFW for 4 years now (plus 3 years in Manila), and I am still constantly thinking when will I be out of this “rat race” that I am in? Alam ko sa sarili kong ayokong ma-trapped sa ganitong cycle. pero parating dumarating si doubts at what if’s para hadlangan ung mga plano kong pagtakas.

    Til now, pilit ko pa din hinaharap ang bawat araw sa trabaho ko habang tinititigan ang mga namumulang port ko at ang mga lumilipad na stock na di ko nasakyan. Umaasang balang araw, magkakaron ako ng lakas loob magpasa ng resignation letter sa boss ko. Hahaha.

    Wala pa kong maipagmamalaking success story sa ngayon. Pero sa mga ganitong kwento ako humuhugot ng inspiration and motivation to follow my dreams and to keep moving forward. Yun lang. hehe. Thank you and may God bless your beautiful soul. 🙂

    Like

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