You wake up to the sound of rain. It’s 5 am and you negotiated that just 5 minutes more shouldn’t be that bad.
You have barely closed your eyes when your alarm goes off again. Hay! Iba talaga oras sa umaga!
Cursing, you stood up and started your way towards the bathroom.
The water is cold. You jumped when it touched your skin. The breakfast is a bang-up job of something you could easily create.
5:30 AM. You were beginning to rush.
mahaba ang pila.
After lining up behind atleast 20 people, praying you don’t get to work late, you settled down your seat, squeezed between two other tired commuters.
Just another day, another week, another year.
I realized this was not the life I wanted the FIRST day of my job. In my field, we had no space or time to pretend to be the dream. They didn’t care if you didn’t like the reality– no one pretended to be happy for the “poor” new-hired employees. Just about everyone made sure we saw how miserable they were.
I started looking for a way out immediately.
It took a while to find it– 2 years after that was when I started trading.
And I worked for 5 years before I got out.
The corporate world has this crazy cycle. I’m not sure what it’s called but I’m sure everyone knows it.
It has ups and downs that keep you in it.
You’re unhappy enough to long to leave but happy enough to stay.
Today, your boss walked in the room with a bad mood and you were the first he saw. Your hair was a little dishevelled, na-late ka ng konti kaninang umaga, mainit ang ulo nya.
Sinigawan ka nya, and he started power tripping.
By lunch time, you browsed LinkedIn for job openings on your phone’s browser.
The next day though, absent sya, and there was not much work. Himala! You joked with your co-workers. May nanglibre ng pancit. Merong may birthday. You realize… Hey, ok naman.
Next week, it was crazy, the workload just rained. You couldn’t even leave the office on time. Some even decided to sleep there just to get this time-sensitive critical work done.
“Resign na!”, you told yourself.
But a week after that, sweldo na.
You bought yourself that new shoes you always wanted (Limited edition), and you even had some Haagen Dazs ice cream.
Before you know it, it’s been 8 years.
I remember back then, when I was still working, there are people who would get a loan “para ma-motivate” and “hindi mag-resign”.
They forced themselves to like the prison they’re in and have even written the extension of their serving time.
But whenever you ask them, “Masaya ka ba?”
The answer is returned with a whisper and the look of embarrassed introspection.
If you’re working at a job that you really like, then this may not apply to you.
But if this is not where you want to be,
You are a wolf trapped in a rat race.
Let me remind you,
Remember who you are.
For your rainy and traffic commute nights ♥