Welcome to the The Index of my page!
This is my Library or where I have compiled my writings in a friendlier version for those new and returning as well. I have segmented it into different parts for you:
The Journey is the writings of my story as a struggling trader. This is raw, unfiltered thoughts of what I was thinking and what I went through before I broke my glass ceiling.
The Syndicate is a series of writings regarding insider information or stock manipulation. I was once able to witness how these people do their illegal work and I documented it. In the end, I walked out feeling certain that it was not the most sustainable or profitable way to be in this business.
Ever After is an ongoing series of my life after The Journey. It certainly meant I faced different challenges at a different level. I met people, made mistakes, won some laps. The playground is different in a high-performing, high-expectations, big-money scenario. The way people treat those at this stage is surprising. For better or for worse.
Articles is a portion of my blog that serves to teach in a manner that is coherent to my taste.
Personal writings are nothing but (sometimes) cryptic babblings of the fleeting things that pass my way in my personal life.
⭐ – Recommended read
Rooting For Celeste is a collection of writings that focused on my struggles within, struggles with the market, and a peek on the mentorship I received from ZeeFreaks. It is about the 90% that wielded the 10%.
90% is about you, the trader, 10% is the technical analysis.
You will read about my journey, a young OFW girl in her 20s, wiping out 200,000 pesos which was everything of my initial investment. To make matters more significant, none of those figures were mine. They were all Other People’s Money or more specifically—my family.
And, heck, did I want to go home so bad. I pushed myself so hard, wanting to go home every moment I could think of, instead of living in a country that was not mine.
It all started here. ⭐ (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-qy)
This is my post talking about how Zee and I started. Right when I met him, he took me in as his bastard (a ZFT slang, more formally known as Spark).
Shortly after that, I wrote about him. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-2y)
He was known to make challenging remarks against relatively known figures in the market, and I finally understood why.
After which, I wrote about ZFT. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-2R)
You will find how different their mindset is, and how I stood in awe at the kind of community and culture they had. Back then, a bastard was not formally welcomed in the ZFT community.
We were the first ones, comprising of Akio, Di, and myself. We had to prove our worth to ‘belong’. We were also the first to break grounds. Ever since then, more bastards were made. Until finally on year 2017, the Sparks program was shut down.
If you want to have a fighting chance to get ZeeFreaks himself or any of the ZFT you considered untouchable to at least reply to your messages to guide your trades, or even accept you as mentee- Read this: (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-DN)
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that with the name and attention that the ZFT has been getting there were people who wanted to tear him down. Some were big names, others hid in troll accounts. They all did what they can to destroy what Zee created. None of them succeeded.
In the end, ZFT continued to show why. You can read all about it here: (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-L2)
Going back, the REAL reason why I lost my entire initial investments was because I made the mistake of trusting people who had ill intentions. They made a name on their own in the industry, and this was supposedly enough reason for the naïve girl in me. To this day, they still do the same.
In the beginning, I just made him a letter. My heart bleeding from the massive betrayal I suffered. There were a lot of us, but I had the pen. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-1R) I remember this post making rounds in trading groups because everyone knew who he was.
A lot resounded the anger I felt. I promised not to write about him again, but weeks after, he decided to start attacking a person I care about—Zee.
So, I wrote again.
This time highlighting why men like him were NEVER worth looking up to anyway and why he can never teach how to become rich in the stock market. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-4B)
In between that, I wrote about why these gurus only teach you when to buy, but never when to sell. ⭐ (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-12)
Back to my story. The journey.
This was the first post that made people demand for a blog, in which I happily obliged. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-h)
It was just after the purge, so I wrote about how it made me feel and I talked about technical analysis versus fundamental analysis.
Speaking of which, here’s a post where I related dating men and trading stocks, another technical analysis versus fundamental analysis post. Fun read. ♥ (https://wp.me/s6WRJe-1)
I have also written about purging. Purging is something every trader MUST understand and be willing to go through. It is a weapon by itself. If I could rename it, I wouldn’t even call it purging. I’d call it Healing. Purging shouldn’t just be a one-time event in the beginning. It can be used again and again whenever needed. ⭐ (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-Sw)
After a large purge, especially in the beginning, a trader may feel various emotions. It’s individualistic. After meeting another trader who had to go through purge, I wrote him a letter that you may find useful if you are ever in that situation. My post purge advice: (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-P5)
When I was starting out, the hardest part was shaking off the past challenges. They continued to haunt me.
The problem is, being beaten black and blue by trading the market, will obviously leave us with zero confidence and a hundred and ten percent of doubt. It’s like walking on a lonely street. At midnight. Double-checking your back every step of the way. You’ll get nowhere, and possibly increase your chances of a heart attack.
Trust issues. I’ve felt it in my core. And as a newbie, a fresh learner, I wrestled with it a lot. I made a post about it (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-Q) and how I have proven to myself that trusting myself was still better than trusting other people to decide for me.
I paid for that mistake dearly and I carried it with me. This one is about giving yourself a fresh start and letting yourself dream again. Because after all you’ve been through, you shouldn’t be the first person to stop yourself from winning. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-3n) For your very own sake.
As my story progressed, here is the post I made when I did my first trade while being taught by Zee. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-28) Profit: 2500 pesos. Cute.
5 months after, this is what happened. A light in the middle of the darkness. ⭐ (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-9L)
After which, I was gone for a while, and I explained why. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-xh)
The whole ordeal was tough for me. I’m here to say now that you can’t be a trader if you didn’t go through this. I struggled with my faith a LOT. There were days where I did nothing but cry, pray, and doubt. To put it in simpler terms, I WAS NOT OKAY. Not at all. I had my wrestle with God. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-n5)
Aside from wrestling with my faith, I was also beginning to crumble from the expectations of my own mentor. I was somehow carrying his name, but he didn’t understand where he was lacking and why I couldn’t progress. I figured he could no longer understand how I felt because he was a million miles away from where I was still standing. I wrote about the side of the mentees, though we should always feel grateful. And more importantly, about the people who already ‘made it’ profitably versus to those who are still far away from reaching their own light, and how they might have forgotten how it is to be the struggling newbie trader. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-Do)
In the middle of everything that I was going through, I had a lot of What Ifs. What if I had chosen a different path? What if I didn’t become an OFW? I was given so many choices that I wondered which one could have been better, especially during the moments I was almost at the brink of regret from choosing this fight. About the time I wrote about choosing to be an OFW, a nurse, and how maybe, one day, I will live a free life too. One of my favourite posts to look back to. ⭐ (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-eB)
I made mistake after mistake, and I was beginning to think that my life was a huge amalgamation of all of it. I tried to build myself up even when I was the one tearing myself down.
In 2 parts, I wrote about why you are not your mistakes and the things you do, to help you survive is not everything that you are. And the journey isn’t over when you think you failed. It is only when you quit that you cannot change the outcome. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-Gu) and (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-I8) Part 2 focused more on how you have nothing really left to lose, except your life. And it isn’t really over until you say you’re done. In which case, should feel liberating.
I also wrote about how your pain should be your ultimate teacher and motivator. It will push you towards the best of your ability, if you understood it– Your Taroli. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-C3)
My mentorship with Zee was very peculiar. Different from the rest. He gave me attention he did not give anyone else. It was quite controversial. My task was to write about it. In essence, giving everyone else a peek into the classroom and learn from the mentee’s side. This is what it is like to have a mentor, and with my writings, you would feel as if you are also his student. The Scribe Chronicles is all about this. My lessons are yours too.
THE MOST SCANDALOUS PART OF MY BLOG and the most technical analysis-centered it will ever be.
7. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-xE) — probably my most controversial. Zee traded MY portfolio. It even caused reactions within our own community. Also inside is different levels of taking profit. Back when I couldn’t afford to make another cut loss.
8. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-E9) And when we finally met up in person. Also, the end of scribe chronicles as we know it.
The Syndicate/Inside Information trading series
One of the best stories I have ever written was where I was an observer of a syndicate doing MARKET MANIPULATION. It was an amazing experience to watch it first-hand. I gained a lot of money, but in the end it only cemented my belief that the way to making money in the market is NOT here.
Read my adventure here:
Chapter 1 (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-75)
Finally, I have reached a point where I couldn’t decide what world I should focus on. Being an OFW nurse or a trader. My schedule made it impossible for me to choose both. I wrote about how I struggled to choose between the two. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-Q7)
And in the end, I resigned. ⭐(https://wp.me/p6WRJe-QU)
Afterward, I wrote about finally being back home and being torn with my new identity, not knowing where to place myself in this society, where people constantly asked you who you are. I wondered who I am after associating myself with being a nurse for a long time, and in a snap of a finger, no longer one. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-Rf)
What’s next then? It was a new beginning. This piece is about me making my first steps outside my personal prison. (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-S5)
6 months after I arrived in the Philippines, I lay on my bed thinking about what I did for half a year. It wasn’t true that I landed on the ground running. The hardest part was adjusting to the fact that there is no urgency left. No one to boss me around. No schedule that demands attending. And what was a short break extended to complacency, so on the first day of the year 2018. I vowed to change my ways. (https://tinyurl.com/y6abvcf4).
A month after that, I attended a seminar in Singapore that made me walk on fire. And in there, feeling dejected, I was wondering if I was a failure for having blisters on my feet. The room full of 15,000 people was dark as I cried and learned that courage does not necessarily mean a lack of fear. But acting despite of it. (https://tinyurl.com/y4mre42g)
As a trader, drawdowns are normal. But that didn’t make me immune to the emotions it entails. Our culture of sharing portsnaps in social media was enough to get me doubting my own capability especially on a trying time… but surprisingly, even as portsnaps are the perfect evidence, it is also the perfect lie. Port snapshots are nothing but a glimpse, a word in a chapter, a note in a full melody. What we do not see is much more important than what we are allowed to. Read it here. (https://tinyurl.com/yyhcy899)
Speaking of which, one Thursday evening, I had the sudden inspiration to write down about the Ratrace we all want to escape. Pleasantly became my most viral post ever, here is a short story of a wolf trying to break the circle. ⭐ (https://tinyurl.com/y2jghpll)
I’d like to say I have escaped that for myself. But what is Ever After? It is a fragile glass rose, complete with the thorns. After I left behind the place I was running away from, I have entered a new arena– One with stakes so high.
Here I meet people of high-caliber, and like the old adage goes, never be the smartest one in the room. At this point, the people surrounding me became different. There are those who would be happy to see people fall after they rise, and there are those who think their money can buy your dignity (https://tinyurl.com/y4plmvrn).
Because inevitably, betrayal happens. And betrayal is only called betrayal when it is mixed with the taste of disappointment from the people you built up and counted on. (https://tinyurl.com/y2ydl7kp)
4 years and 2 months from The Journey and I had gone through so many things, from a broke trader to a profitable one, jumping into entrepreneurship and the political and emotional space of creating a business. In the midst of all the chaos, Zee and I decided to finally face the spotlight and reveal who we really are. Celeste of RFC finally shows her face and took on a whole new world of challenges. (https://tinyurl.com/yyjnmx3l)
We even created a mentorship together where I champion trading psyschology and he teaches his craft in technical analysis. Here is a glimpse of what it is inside the most elusive mentorship community (https://tinyurl.com/y3fc454e).
And I thought I had it in the bag. But what did I know? There were more layers to peel. I wondered what the worst thing that could happen, simply because I wanted to be ready for it. I did find out what, but no I was not ready. I went through the painful birthing of more betrayals and the essential stripping of the innocence I once had, a general drop in faith for friendship when money and control got involved. (https://tinyurl.com/y5xhowrg)
Eventually, I had to be okay with it. My dreams made me lose people, but I’m glad it did. (https://tinyurl.com/y4ys6qj5)
Here are random stock market things. All relatable, slightly hilarious, but all in all, majorly useful. Some content featured ZFT’s inputs. My favourite one is about being an excellent student in the market.
1. Ways the stock market changed me (https://wp.me/p6WRJe-5r)
5. What ‘wasting my time’ with games taught me (https://tinyurl.com/yyu5bfn4)